Beauty in the breakdown

Yesterday I had my first official breakdown through out this whole process. I dont know what hit me yesterday whether it was starting the liquid diet and being food deprived or knowing that I am only 10 days away from a huge surgery that will forever change my life or whata. But it hit me hard. I was talking with my dad about what he though of the surgery and what he thought about me doing the surgery and he expresses some concern that any parent would. He however said that he is behind me 100% and that he will support me no matter what. I am not doubting my decision to do this... but how do I know that i am making the correct decision. All the emotion came pouring out at the moment. At the time I felt like it was just all nerves and that I was feeling like this is bigger then I thought it was going to be. I think particially I need a release like that because I have been putting on this confident front. But now that I have time to reflect a little bit I think it was acutally me looking for confirmation that I was doing the right thing. I wanted my parents to tell me that this was going to fix everything. And much to my disliking they didn't. They both told me that they support me and that they are going to be there for me. Thats okay thought because what I have figured out is that I will never know if this decision is right for me until I do it. If I dont do it... then I will always wonder what could've been. I am starting to feel okay with this. Though right now I am starving... liquids day 2 has been hard but... it should get easier from here on out... at least I hope!

though I know this is blog is all about my surgery.. i need to throw this in there... YAY GIANTS!! You played the game of your life and you succeed against everyones doubt. CONGRATS!