Do You Feel....

I am going to start this blog off with a picture because I think pictures speak for themselves. This one definitely reflects how i feel and how things are going:


Amazing huh? Its still a bizarre feeling. People dont like when I use that word but its the best way to describe it. Its not meant to mean anything but just that its strange to feel this good and have things happen so quickly. I couldn't be happier. I just cant understand the machinics behind this whole process. I understand what I can do and have done to change my habits I just dont get how it works. I mean. Where does all the weight go? It can't just disappear. I know i know fat when burned turns into energy. But come on... I basically have lost as much as a 10 year old weights.

Well to update everything I probably should start with I am sorry. I am sorry for not keeping up this blog but its hard to write something when nothing "new" (besides the obvious) has happened. I really have been sticking to the program that Park Nicollet has laid out for me and it has be working fabulously. Currently I am on what they call soft food. Basically I am not suppose to eat anything that is tough or chewy. My stomach still will have a hard time breaking it down. I am still on very little portions. I eat any where from 3 tablespoons to 1/4 cup of food. Most of which has to be protien. If I am still hungry after that I am suppose to eat fruits and veggies. I still am suppose to have 3 8oz glasses of milk and tons of water between meals. Other things that I have been doing is taking all my pills. I have to take 1 multi-vitamin, 3 calcuim chewables, iron and vitamin C pills daily and then I take one b-12 pill once a week. So there are a lot of drugs to take but I will do whatever I have to do because anything is better then being over weight.

The hardest parts so far have been drinking all the necessary amounts of milk. I usually forget or I am just not "hungry" enough to drink them. And I say hungry because when I drink milk I get full and its like I ate a really big meal. I never thought I would see the day when I said that drinking milk makes me full. Before surgery I always thought people were crazy when they said they were full off of something small like that. haha. Now i know exactly what they mean.

The funniest part has been seeing what I can actually eat. I have this conversation a lot with people. Lets think of what i use to eat for breakfast: An 3 egg omelette with lots of ham and cheese, 2-3 slices of french toast with butter and syrup and probably 2-3 sausage links. Now this is what i eat for breakfast: 1 1/2 morning star sausages and maybe 1/2 of an egg scrambled. I just can't believe that I get full off of so little but I also can't believe that i used to eat that much.

I have found out a couple things that have been really hard for me:

1)Peoples perceptions of gastric bypass - Its intersting to listen to people talk about how they could never have the surgery but that its okay that I did it. I know that they are saying that whats right for me isn't right for them but I know some of these people are trying to say that they feel like i took the easy way out. Let me tell you if this is the easy way out I would hate to say the hard way. I dont know what so easy about having surgery and putting your body through hell and having to just figure every thing out on your own (basically). I knew I was going to have to deal with critics but it just gets old sometimes.
2)Peoples opinion of the food i eat. -Whether its someone telling me that to try this, or that "i am sure that you can have this" or "can you eat that" it tough. I know that people are asking me to try things because they want me to feel included but I get so sick of say "i cant". but on the flip side i have the people who instead of asking me tell me that I sure i could have something. No i cant and No I wont. I didn't go through all this to just go back to the way I used to be. Its hard for people to understand that I can't "sample" food or "taste" things. They think I am crazy for not.... but the fact is... that snacking leads to more snacking and bad food and I am not falling in that trap ever again. also.... then people always have to comment on what I am actually eatting. I know that some of them are watching out for me... but really I GOT IT. i know what I can eat, I know how much of it I can eat.... so lay off. I have it. Like i just stated... i didn't go through all this to fuck it up.
3)Being stressed out - I think that this may be the toughest part of them all. When I used to get really stressed out I would depend on food. I would go to it to relieve any stress or problem I had and I need to find something to replace it. What to repalce it with... i dont know. I need to make sure its something healthy. Maybe I will get addicted to exercising (unlikely). I just dont want to pick up a bad habit.
4)clothes. - This is a good and bad. a catch 22 if you will. NONE of my clothes fit.... and thats a good thing but I hate the idea of spending money on clothes that I know wont fit me in a couple months. But I can't bitch..... this is exactly what was suppose to happen ;)

For once feel like I am finally on the right path in life. I am doing something to better me and its working and I am going to make sure that it continues to work. This is definitelly not easy that is for sure. There are definitely going to be tough... and I am going to have to continuely work on it but I know that I can succeed. I will for sure hit some walls and obsticiles but I know I can over come them.

Well the following are new measurements (inches) and pictures:

R Pinky - 2 1/4 - No change
R Ring - 2 1/2 - No change
R middle - 2 3/4 - No change
R Pointer - 2 3/4 - down 1/8
R Thumb - 2 3/4 - down 1/8
R Wrist - 7 - down 1/2
R Forearm - 11 - down 1
R Bicep - 14 - down 2
Neck - 15 - down 3/4
Chin/Crown - 25 1/2 - down 1/2
Head - 23 - No Change
Bust - 45 - down 4
Under Bust - 39 - down 3 1/2
Waist - 42 - down 4
Hip/Butt - 46 - down 4
R Thigh - 23 - down 4
R Calf - 17 - down 1
R Ankle - 10 - No Change
R Foot - 9 1/2 - No Change
Weight - 215.4 - down 63.2


Before: (take 2/9/08)

After: (taken 4/30/08)

Before: (taken 2/9/08)

After: (taken 4/30/08)

Before: (taken 2/9/08)

After: (taken 4/30/08)

So thats it for now. I will try and get better at this. I swear. Thanks for reading. Love you all!!